After Baby Body [Teil 2]

I've written about the topic "after-baby-body (or whatever that is)" before in a rather old post of my blog from the beginning of 2017.

In the meantime, my life has changed a lot. My belly has been carrying another child, growing it inside. I have also grown in my thoughts, my attitudes and likewise my knowledge. So I would like to describe this topic again and write down my thoughts.

When I type the term"after baby body" into Google, I find countless results - from tips on how to lose weight, to various magazines and blogs. The opinions here vary widely. Some of the posts come with a lot of pressure, which I also hear when I talk to mamas from my babywearing, breastfeeding, cloth diaper or diaper free consultations.

So many mamas feel bad. Feel repulsive. Disgusting. Ashamed of their bodies. Really often I hear that they are uncomfortable that they have not yet regained their pre-baby weight and appearance. And sometimes this is only a few weeks after giving birth. A few weeks after they gave birth to a child that in most cases was allowed to grow inside them for about 40 weeks.

That makes me sad. And it makes me angry. Why do so many moms feel so bad about their bodies? To their body that has done so much. The uterus stretches many times over, organs shift, skin stretches, vessels widen, ligaments soften. So much happens during pregnancy and birth. Likewise, of course, right after birth.

Our wonderful bodies begin to regress directly. With the return to the non-pregnant state. The uterus becomes smaller again with each contraction, organs find their place again. Much more happens during regression, but I won't go into that here.

Women gain weight during pregnancy. Yes, this is normal. We don't just gain the weight of our baby, no. There is, after all, amniotic fluid. The placenta. And a buffer for breastfeeding.

Many women get stretch marks, stretch marks, because the connective tissue can't keep up with the growth of the baby, because the skin has to stretch quickly and eventually gives way. Sometimes these stripes are also present on the breasts, buttocks or legs.

And the body also changes in other ways during pregnancy. This varies from woman to woman. But always, really always, this body is not repulsive because of it. Not disgusting or anything else. Always, this body is a miracle that has allowed the miracle of life to come into being within it.

I have often heard how lucky I was to be so slim after having two children. That after only one week I already looked like I did before pregnancy. That they were jealous of me because they couldn't get rid of their own weight since giving birth.

I find that sad, too. Why do we always judge? Do we look at others with envy? When we don't even know their situation?

I struggled a lot after my first birth to keep my weight down and not lose any more. It was a struggle every day and I had to eat so much. That was a hard time for me.

This time, thankfully, I was and am doing much better. Yes, I lost weight quickly. And yet, you can see my children on me. The skin on my belly looks different. I did end up with a few tears on my belly from the contractions during the second birth. My abs still have a little gap in them.

I know. Maybe you wouldn't call that perfect. Or say it's not so bad after all. Depending. But you know what, I don't care what you think of MY body. In the meantime, I don't care, it's not important to me anymore. The only thing that matters is how I see my body. How I feel.

What matters is that I take care of myself. That I like myself the way I am. I think love is a very big word in this context, even though it sounds so nice: self-love. I don't know if I do that. But I like myself. I like myself the way I am. Most of the time, anyway.

Maybe we can get on the road, on the road to more compassion. Towards more respect, more love. Shouldn't we show our body respect for having performed this miracle by treating it well? By caring for it and respecting it?

I know this is not always easy. Maybe you're thinking to yourself that I couldn't relate to that at all. I'm not in your shoes, no, that's true. And yet, I dare say I know what it feels like to find your own body just repulsive.

I had an eating disorder for many years and believe me, I know how it feels. Maybe differently, because I hadn't given birth then. And you (probably) don't have an eating disorder either and yet the feeling is similar.

But at some point I understood that it just doesn't matter. That we don't have to be perfect and we can't be. You are good enough!

Your body deserves and is worth to be treated well. To be loved. Because it used to be the home of your child or children. And your kids love you just the way you are anyway!

I picked out the images used for the article on unsplash.com. Here follows a detailed listing with links:

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