Who is actually breastfeeding whom here?

"I'm breastfeeding my baby," is how it's always said. And the Duden also says about the verb to breastfeed:

1.a. to make (an infant) drink breast milk at the breast.

1.b. to feed an infant by regular breastfeeding.

I will explain more about the meaning later. So the way the word is defined or explained in the Duden as well, it implies a passivity of our babies. But do we as mothers really do everything while breastfeeding? Isn't it rather our baby that has the greater active part in it?

Breastfeeding would not work at all if our baby did not suck actively. Our baby would not necessarily drink when we put the breast in his mouth. Yes, sometimes it might not even open its mouth. When it is hungry, a lot of breastfeeding is driven by baby's reflexes. So the baby sucks reflexively. But it does so actively, even though it is an innate reflex.

Many other reflexes also play a major role in relation to breastfeeding and exist only so that breastfeeding can function. After birth and even later, the baby does not actually need to be actively brought to the breast by the mother (or anyone else). If the mother is lying on her back or slightly upright, the baby will find the breast all by itself and start drinking if we just let him. No, babies can't crawl or see particularly far yet, but nature has set that up pretty cleverly.

The cry reflex allows the baby to push off and slowly crawl up to the breast. The search reflex helps him find the breast or nipple. The nipple has already changed during pregnancy and has become darker. This allows the newborn to recognize it better, in addition to feeling it on his cheek. Also, according to hypotheses, the expression of the linea negra, the central line on the abdomen, should make it easier for an infant to find its way to the breast. The smell also lets the baby find its way.

In this process, we don't really have to do anything but wait. It may help to hold the baby a little and support the head. In most cases, however, this is not necessary. So the baby is not as passive as the verb's meaning suggests. When we let our babies, we hardly have to do anything and then we are quite passive. We can just look at our baby in love while we do it and let it do it. (And yes, there isn't always time for that in everyday life).

Another word meaning described in the Duden is the following:

2. to satisfy (a need), to make stop.

I think this meaning is lost far too often. When we were training to be breastfeeding companions we were asked "Who breastfed you?". This did not mean who fed us at the breast, but who satisfied our needs as babies and later.

I don't want to write about the importance of breast milk here, because breastfeeding implies so much more. Anyone who establishes a bond with a baby can breastfeed him or her. He or she can nurse the baby's needs. It doesn't have to be with breast feeding. Breastfeeding is much more than food. It can be just as much with the bottle and cuddling and bathing or diapering. (So all you bottle feeding mamas, you breastfeed just the same!).

So there are many ways to nurse a baby's needs. And even here, it's not always necessarily just mom who is active. It is often also the dad, or even grandma and grandpa. The baby builds up a relationship, a bond, with these people.

I come back to the initial question: Who is actually breastfeeding whom? I would say that several people are or can be involved in this process. The baby is just as active as mom or dad.