After baby body (or whatever it is supposed to be)

I would like to write about a topic that is written about quite a lot. But that is only my subjective impression. Maybe it is not true at all.

But I would like to tell you from another side, from my side. I was in the normal range with my weight before pregnancy. Because yes, it's mostly about weight and figure in terms of after-baby-body. But during pregnancy I hardly gained any weight. It was just before the birth not even 3kg. I was always told that I needed to gain weight and that I needed reserves for breastfeeding, etc.. I would have liked to gain weight, I ate well and yet I did not gain weight. It was just like that. I had actually lost weight in the early days because of all the nausea. All in all, I had actually lost weight, because the weight I had gained was only the weight of my child. In addition, I had amniotic fluid and placenta, which is not insignificant in terms of weight. After the birth, I therefore immediately had 5kg less than before the pregnancy.

With breastfeeding and the added stress that often comes with a newborn, I continued to lose weight. At my lowest point, I was almost 15kg less than I was before pregnancy and thus underweight. All the while, I ate and ate and ate... I could eat as much as I wanted, it didn't help. At some point I went to the doctor, who ruled out all organic causes. With that, I was just as smart as before. I was often told that I was too thin and needed to eat more. I was inundated with tips and advice. Everyone thought they had to help me and know better than I did. Me in my body. But, what was I supposed to do with it? I was doing everything I could to gain weight, but I just couldn't do it. Within the first year I managed to put on a few kilos every now and then, but as soon as the next stressful phase came, they were off again. With almost the same eating behavior. I was ashamed of my body and of the fact that many other mothers thought I had it so good. But that is not true! I had to partially force myself to eat because I knew if I didn't I would continue to lose weight. It was a struggle.

In the meantime, things have gotten better. I have lost a little weight and feel that I can keep it off. I can't say exactly, of course, because we don't have a scale. I only got the kilograms from weight checks at the doctor's office. But I think that it is stress-related in my case. Lately I have been having less stress. My son sleeps through most of the time now, which makes it much easier for me (and my husband).

What I wanted to show you with this is that it can't be easy the other way around either. My example once again makes it clear how rash judgments can be completely beside the truth. Don't be stressed by this constant need to control yourself and to be perfect. One ear in and the other ear out, I've come to think. When you ask your child later what the perfect woman looks like, she will always say: "Like mom!" and there is no better compliment!