New ways for four

My little mouse is now soon four weeks old. And it's hot... still so incredibly hot. We regularly have thirty degrees in our attic apartment and it's almost unbearable. The air conditioner can barely beat the heat and I can't stand the volume it produces all day either. But the heat outside is just as unbearable, except in the morning or late evening hours. The late evening hours are not suitable for a walk together, because my grandson is usually already in bed. At the moment, however, it is also difficult for him to find peace in the evening. No wonder... It's just that it doesn't necessarily make the day any easier.

The little mouse breastfeeds at the moment almost every hour, mostly in half-hour intervals. And yes, of course that's good. Very good, in fact. After all, I know that she needs the liquid. But this way I hardly have time for myself or Noah. I'm already glad that my husband is still home this week and mostly wears her outside of breastfeeding, so I can rest a bit and he plays with the big one or I play with the big one during that time when he's not in kindergarten.

On the one hand, Mina and I also enjoy these moments of togetherness, which outside of breastfeeding already come up short in everyday life. And on the other hand, I have the feeling that I simply can't do justice to my big boy. We often read while we are breastfeeding or do other quiet things that I can still do. But then the intimate togetherness that I love so much about breastfeeding is missing. It is an eternal dichotomy, but we will find our way.

I'm just glad when it gets a little cooler. Then hopefully I won't be so exhausted myself. At the moment it's still postpartum and I just realize that I still need rest in between. For my body as a whole, but especially for my pelvic floor. But also for my soul, to process the birth. Even though it was a beautiful and self-determined birth, this intense experience still needs to be processed.

Everything is still so unfamiliar at the moment and we have to sort ourselves out again as a family. This will certainly take time and then we will go our own way as a family of four.