The birth of my daughter

I have been asked several times now if I would also write a birth report and now I sit down here and try to write these lines about the birth. The report will not go into too much detail. I would rather write down what helped me and how I felt. Let's see what comes out of it. You could already read the beginning of the birth in the pregnancy report for the 10th month, but I will write it down again here.

It is Wednesday, I have now arrived at ET+2. My son is at home because it's vacation time at kindergarten. I have been having contractions on and off for days, but so far everything has remained calm. That's how the morning continues as well. We go for a long walk and my son rides his bike. I walk pretty fast so he doesn't have to wait all the time. Running does me good and distracts me. When I get home again, however, I'm pretty exhausted. So I'm glad that Noah will soon be picked up to play at a friend's house. I continue to notice contractions, which are very strong right now. My back hurts and I wonder if it's from walking.

When Noah is gone, I lie down in bed and try to rest. I would like to sleep too, but the aching back keeps me awake. Lying down, however, is still very pleasant. So even the infrequent, strong contractions are just about bearable. Finally, my husband comes home from work and I'm grateful that he's picking Noah up, I just don't want to leave.

I have infrequent, strong contractions all evening. Fortunately, I still have a relatively good appetite, so I eat well. My husband puts our son to bed, I'm too restless and can't talk during labor. We then watch series together and nothing changes for the time being. At the time I usually go to bed, I realize I can't. Something keeps me awake and I am neither tired nor exhausted. I also notice that the intervals between contractions are getting a little shorter and the back pain is worse. Something is different. The contractions feel different. I also imagine I feel a change at the cervix, but at the same time I'm afraid that it's just practice contractions again.

The back presses more and more and just before midnight my husband calls my midwife. I was afraid to call her earlier, not that it's just a rehearsal again. She quickly comes over and examines me. She is very careful and sensitive about it. A contraction comes, very uncomfortable during the exam. Finally my midwife says what I actually already knew inside: "This is birth!". My cervix was already 4cm open. My midwife asked if she should stay or go again. I want her with me. She goes to the birth center again for a short time and my husband prepares everything at home.

The back pain during labor is now well tolerable with the knowledge that it is not "pointless". Only now I am always nauseous and gagging, especially at the end of each contraction. I feel an incredible strength inside me and sounding it during contractions helps me live out that strength. It doesn't feel painful, just powerful. I feel strong and realize that a lot is happening right now. My midwife comes back and rests on the floor. I manage the waves well with the help of my husband. I keep changing positions and can decide for myself and say what I need.

Around 2 o'clock, my midwife wants to examine me. She feels that my water might break soon. My cervix is now already 8-9cm open and the water could break at any moment. It is very bulging and my husband is already pre-warming the towels for the baby. I can't believe it's happening so fast.

But the next few minutes demand my strength. The head just won't slide into the pelvis and at the same time it presses against the C-section scar with every contraction. So slowly it has to slide deeper. My midwife examines me again. Now at least the head is adjusted correctly. We discuss her opening the amniotic sac because it is so bulging and probably prevents it from sliding deeper. There is really a lot of amniotic fluid coming in and I hope that things will finally move along.

I'm moving around a little more again. My midwife is making me offers of positions during labor to help the birth progress. I am grateful for her support. I am also noticeably louder during contractions now and want something to finally happen. It still takes what feels like an eternity, but then the head slides clearly noticeable finally lower. And then everything happens very quickly. I feel an incredible downward pressure and want to push along. I have strength again. So much strength, as I did not have in the meantime any more. I push along and everything happens very quickly. In one contraction the head and also the rest of the body are born. It pulls, but this pulling goes completely under when I see my baby that my midwife has put between my legs.

My husband comes in with my son. Noah had woken up at some point and my husband had to take care of him. But now we were there. Four of us. With the help of my midwife, I lay down on the bed and we cuddle. After about half an hour, I feel downward pressure again and the placenta is fully born.

What helped me throughout the birth was that I could move freely. I had full decision-making power and full responsibility. I had made myself aware beforehand of what I wanted and what we would do in case of an emergency, which fortunately did not happen. I laid down and rested during labor to recharge my batteries. In labor itself, I was loud because I could tell it was doing me good. I didn't care at all that our neighbors surely heard me. I didn't care about anything around me. All that mattered was my baby and me. I am very grateful to have experienced such a low-pain, self-determined birth.

The cover image comes from unsplash.com.